Hey That's Not A Seat!

Anyone that's ever lived in NYC their whole life will have a story to tell you about the most grueling experience of living in the city: the subway. There are almost silent rules that we have to follow in order to successfully ride the train. But what about the people that don't follow those rules? We all know them. They're the ones that will run and steal a seat another passenger was leaving you, of they'd try to get into the smallest space possible. That latter is probably the most annoying part.

Imagine the scenario: You're sitting there, reading your book, listening to your iPod whatever it is people do while riding the rat infested tunnels, and you're sitting next to someone. They're also probably do something similar because we all like to think whatever we're doing is more important than what anyone else is doing. On the other side of you is a railing which is supposed to make sure you don't fall out when there's some sort of turbulence but all it ends up doing is hurting your elbow when it
accidentally slips between the holes. All of a sudden someone walks over, usually a person that's just walked on, and they can't get the hint that a) the space is too small for them because they aren't made of rubber or a small child. And b) everyone else is standing so there are no seats.

The "menace" will then come up to you and ask you to move over a bit, you oblige because you don't wan't to deal with anyone else and the menace squeezes their adult ass into the seat between you and your stranger companion next to you. You are not uncomfortable because the menace is now trying to not only squeeze in, but out of sheer force of will move you and the stranger over. By the next stop you go from sitting comfortably to completely smashed up against the railing, to the point where you can no
longer reach for your phone that's in your pocket or read the book you may have been engaged in.

These seat taking menace's are worse than close talkers or the little kids that dance around and make you feel awkward as they are this close to hitting you in the face with their stinky shoe. These people invade your personal space and try to make it seem like its your fault that the space is vacant and other people are standing. These are the people that you wish a rat would crawl on so they'd stop pushing their way into tight spaces instead of waiting for a real seat. Every time one of them pushes me so they
plop their butt next to mine I want to yell, "Hey that's not a seat!"

Magic the Unicorn Gathering.

My f riend Lauren asked me to do a list of the best Unicorn moments on Television. I decided to try it out. Like the magic creature it seems that finding Unicorn moments, albeit good ones on the tube are really hard to find and so I had to do some digging and here are my TOP 5. I dont know how to count to ten people and this was HARD!

5. The old school Doctor Who episode The Mind Robber in the episode Jamie has this weird dream about a unicorn and then they magically see one. The world is pretty much run by these crazy master computers that I might even say are ancestors of new who's, "The Silence" Whatever the case is there is a unicorn here. Jamie wears a kilt because he is Scottish, Zoe is freaking out as per usual, and all is well. Except that the unicorn is EVIL and out to hurt them. I never knew this magical creature could be so vengeful. Count on the Doctor, because he gets them out of the messy situation pretty quick.

(HOW COULD THIS FACE BE MADE WHILE LOOK AT A UNICORN? HOW? DEAR LORD I AM TYPING CAPS CAUSE OF THOSE FACES. HOW?!)

4. So she's a a bad ass detective but Veronica Mars loves Unicorns. She totes has a wallpaper filled with unicorns. Her dad thinks she's weird. Veronica is just a normal girl after all. She's a marshmallow! A twinkie! A unicorn.

3. The scrubs episode My Unicorn pretty much says it all. JD's such a lady but that doesn't mean men shouldn't love unicorns either. Or horses with swords on their heads. Whatevz

2. Perhaps one of the saddest Unicorn episodes, but still one that teaches you never to mess with anything as magical as the unicorn isMerlins' The Labyrinth of Gedref. Arthur thinks he's some sort of mans man on a hunting trip and decides to take off the horn of a unicorn. Little does he know Unicorns are pure magic and he now has some sort of curse chasing his tail because he had to be bad ass. In in the end Arthur proves himself to be remorseful and the unicorn is back to being awesome, but it doesn't mean this episode wasn't sad. Not because both Merlin and Arthur almost died but because the unicorn totally didn't deserve that. I hope no unicorns were harmed during the making of this episode.

1. My number one spot goes to the one show that nailed the allure of the Unicorn right on the head, that show is of course Ally McBeal. In the episode Making Spirits Bright some guys gets sued and whatever, dancing babys. THERE'S A UNICORN AND ITS AWESOME!

Here it is! My top 5 unicorn TV mentions. I hope this blog post will make one come to me in my sleep and leave me a dollar for losing my tooth. (Or is that a tooth fairy?)

The top 5 things I learned from TV that I was too lazy to google.

Lately I've decided that it's time to start watching shows I gave up years ago because I don't have enough TV to watch already. (For those of you who know me stop gagging, for those of you that don't know me I watch so much TV my TiVo tells me that it will walk out and quit) Over the summer Kristina and I decided that it would be a good idea to watch Supernatural. Besides being a show about the obvious stuff, you know, the Supernatural stuff it also taught me quite a few things that I managed to either a) forget b) never cared enough to google. Thus I have realized. I LEARNED HALF OF EVERYTHING I KNOW FROM TV! So instead of actually spilling my guts for the world to see I will just post the top 5 things I now because of television.

5. Bromances are cool. I always knew about the hidden and intricate relationship of the two males that hetrosexually love each other with all of their might but I never knew how beautiful a bromance can be until TV showed me the way. Thanks for showing us the ya ya brotherhood, TV. My life has been so much better since this discovery.

(Castiel and Dean are the perfect example of the "bromance" they even have some homoerotic tension. I am ok with this.)

4. Whoever you are your picture will always look good when you call someone. ALWAYS. It will be high res and you will look like a super model. There are no ifs ands or buts about this. Cell phone caller ID pictures will always look like a head shot. When I call someone I know I just walked out of a shampoo commercial. I am worth it!

3. Men always look good shirtless and Women are always hot. If you do not fall into this category you can not be a main character because you are not what real life people look like and we can not relate to you. Hot or out!

2. When a group of girls get together they will always be bitches. ALWAYS. There is no way for girls to actually hang out with one another without singling one girl out and making her the outcast. This is entirely realistic, girls are bitches when together, but keep them apart and you might be able to single out the queen b. Take her down and you will get the guy, become prom queen, and live your life as a happy and healthy woman.

FINALLY. NUMBER ONE. THE ONE. THE ONLY--- DRUM ROLLS

Unicorns! THEY DO EXIST

There you have it folks. The top 5 things I've learned from the TV that I was too lazy to google. I hope this leaves you to think about what your top 5 are or even 10 if you're adventurous and know how to count that high.

Welcome Back Word That Rhymes with Kotter.

Hello world! I am back. I know, I'm very excited and everyone else should be too. I've been embarking on a journey of self discovery as of late. Mostly through watching episodes of Supernatural and eating cashews.

I've been dieting and it's been a bit of a slow burn mostly because I've just been really lazy which doesn't really work well with the whole diet thing. When you diet you need to be active, running, playing, acting like a kid in a park. I am not. I do run every morning, but its hard getting out when your wrapped up in the arms of your mistress, sometimes known as your bed, or as I call it my mastress. I guess it wont hit me until I lose my first dress size but when that will be who knows. I'm content with my curvy size at the moment and will continue to be content with it until I become more awesome than I already am.

There are so many banana's a girl can eat before she freaks out, raids a supermarket and eats the whole thing. What sucks about life is having a shitty metabolism. Food is awesome, and everyone should just eat and not worry about gaining weight or becoming ill with some sort of disease which causes you to cry yourself to sleep. (or make depressing movies about your life. see: 50/50)

I've cheated, I've eaten, but I'm back on my game now. I think that's all that matters.

Nap Time Blues

Most people would agree that the best remedy to a long, boring, and exhausting day is to have a stare down with your couch. You look at your couch, the couch looks back at you. The couch doesn't blink, neither do you. The time comes and you assure yourself that you are going to win this battle. You finally have enough and you you go in for the kill-- and by the kill I mean take a nap.

Most people enjoy naps because they are a rest in between wandering around the world of work, school, and responsibility and the actual long sleep we take at the end of the day. A lot of folks would say "naps are great because they're supposed to revive you, make you feel rested so you can continue on with your day!" I don't think so, when I wake up from a nap I don't feel "revived" I feel gross, sticky, and groggy. I can't shake the feeling the rest of the day and it just makes me upset because I can't bask in the amazing phenomenon of the nap. The uncomfortable feeling I get when I am done napping often dissuades me from "nap time."

When I was in school we didn't have nap time. We just had a straight day of learning. I never got a chance to lay down and cover myself up with my blankie in the middle of the day when everyone else was doing work.

I don't know what or who I should blame for my discomfort of naps, but it sure sucks to hate something that sure feels so good.